Gender Expectations

Why are Men so Violent?

Posted by | Articles & Videos, Demonizing & Dignity, Gender Expectations | No Comments

As I write this, another shooter in the U.S. is being cast as someone who was “descending into madness”. This man is older than other shooters we’ve seen recently—and he had plenty of money too. So we wonder, what was his motive?

We naturally want to understand what causes a person to create a plan and then carry out that plan to open fire on a public crowd of strangers with an automatic weapon. If we can understand, perhaps these events can be prevented.

Hearing the term “mental illness” (to explain the cause of the event) will satisfy some Americans. Others will say it’s a problem of too many guns. And many will go no further to understand the root of the issue. However, if we don’t understand the root cause of such violence, we’ll be putting band-aids on a wound that requires much more. Read More

The Last Thing I Need is Another Set of Rules on “How to be a Man”

Posted by | Articles & Videos, Gender Expectations, my articles | No Comments

There had been some discussion on elephant journal about what it takes to be men or women in relationships.

Like this article, (which starts with, “If I am going act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.”) and this retort (“If I’m going to act like a god, I require a woman who acts like a goddess”). Both are a set of rules from one sex to the other.

It’s like watching a game of tag, and reminds me of times in my relationships where I would barter with, “Well, I could be that way, but first you have to be this way.”

I wanted to take this conversation deeper. Read More